Boundaries- Where Do I Start?
For the month of July, the Teletherapist Network’s book club selection was Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself By Nedra Glover Tawwab.
Any of my patients will tell you that I am big on boundary setting and talk about it frequently. This book was an amazing addition to my collection and a reminder of how important boundaries are. I strongly encourage you to read this book if you are interested in learning more about boundary setting and how to appropriately utilize them. For now, here are 5 tips on how to help with boundaries.
*This book was sent to me as a freebie to consider for the book club.
Awareness. Identify the places (work, home, etc.) where you want to start setting boundaries. Aside from where to set boundaries, identify who you want to set boundaries with- your boss, coworkers, family members, friends.
Start with Yourself. Start setting boundaries with yourself as a way to practice. Clock out of work at 5pm? Put your work e-mail on silent, leave your computer in another room, and don’t look at any work-related material.
Set Them Early. The earlier you set boundaries with others, the faster they learn what to expect from you. It also helps avoid the confrontation of, “this didn’t bother you before.”
Be Consistent. This is piggybacking off of setting boundaries early. If you want others to respect the boundaries you set, you have to be consistent on your end with setting and maintaining them. If other people expect that you will be inconsistent, they are more likely to boundary push and not respect them.
Model the Behavior. If you are expecting others to respect your boundaries, make sure you are respecting theirs. Others are more likely to follow the boundaries you put in place if they notice that you also respect theirs.