Helicopter Parenting vs. Lawn Mower Parenting
Many of us have heard of the term, “helicopter parent” before. This refers to the parent who tends to be overly involved in their child’s life. These parents tend to hover (much like a helicopter) so much that they can come controlling or over perfecting.
Some signs a parent (or you) might be a helicopter parent include:
Telling your child’s coach how to coach the team (when you are not on the coaching staff)
Not allowing your child to fail make mistakes
Doing most things for them at home such as cleaning their room (appropriate chores for various ages to follow in a later blog post)
If this parenting style is you, I strongly encourage you to re-evaluate how you are raising your child. There is no parenting manual that comes to you in the mail when you become a parent. Yes, there are various books out there that can help you, but there is no golden standard on parenting. You can’t be with your children forever and can’t bubble wrap them. You may think you are helping them, but you are only teaching them to NOT think and do for themselves, which will be a great disservice to them as they grow.
Some of you may be thinking to yourself, “Whew! Good thing I am not a helicopter parent!” However, I ask you to consider if you are a “lawn mower parent.” Some other terms for lawnmower parenting are: snowplow parent or bulldozer parent. Whatever term you want to use, it is different than the helicopter parent. A lawn mower parent is the type of parent who tries to remove any and all obstacles in their child’s way.
Some signs a parent (or you) might be a lawn mower parent include:
Not allowing your child to deal with their own conflicts, especially with peers
Removing your child from activities that are difficult for them (challenges help us grow)
Giving your child whatever they want
If this parenting style is you, I strongly encourage you to re-evaluate how you are raising your child. Not wanting your child to suffer or wanting your child to have a better childhood than you did is understandable. However, not allowing your child to problem solve and work through the hard stuff is setting them up for failure later on in life.
The helicopter parent and lawn mower parent are similar, but there are also differences. Whereas the helicopter parent just hovers, the lawnmower parent hovers AND rescues. These types of parenting styles also convey a message to your child that you might not trust them or that you don’t believe they can do something. These are serious hits to their self-esteem and confidence.
Parents: we know that you love your kids. However, not allowing them to live and experience life isn’t really a life and it’s not going to help them in the long run. Actively problem-solve with your child and have open and calm discussions with them. Let them know that you are their biggest cheerleader and support system and that there are many ways to support another person without removing or doing something for them.