Let’s talk about devices and screen time. This is a hot topic that I frequently discuss with the parents of my patients. Since COVID-19 and the summer vacation being here, I have discussed it even more often lately.
Various studies have shown that screen time can impact eyesight, mood, impulsivity, and self-esteem. That short list isn’t even exhaustive either. Many parents I work with ask me what is an appropriate time for their child to be on devices and how early is too early for children to be exposed to devices.
Appropriate screen time usage varies by person. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit the idea of only 2 hours of screen time a day went out the window. Parents were working from home and needed to keep their children occupied, some states had stay-at-home orders and there wasn’t much to do, and most schools went remote in some capacity. During this time, I encouraged appropriate usage and controlled usage. If you couldn’t control being on the computer due to work and school, setting screen breaks throughout the day helped. My own optometrist recommended the 20-20-20 rule. Every 20 minutes stare at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds to refocus your eyes. That seemed doable! I also still encouraged recreational usage for screens, just not as much.
When it comes to age and devices, I recommend avoiding screen time for as long as possible. If you are introducing screen time to younger children, make sure it is appropriate for their age (e.g. educational videos) and while you are present. Your 18-month-old should not be set in front of the tablet for multiple hours while you are working.
To further assist in setting appropriate boundaries with devices, here are some tips:
Apps. Decide ahead of time what apps you are okay with being downloaded. This goes for yourself and your child. What apps make you feel better and what apps make you feel worse? Are you okay with social media apps for your child? Would you prefer your child only download games on their device? Check out the security settings on the device and where apps are downloaded to see if you can set up blocks for downloads that are not appropriate. Most, if not all apps, have ratings on them, similar to television and movie ratings. Find the rating that you are comfortable with for your child. For apps that I have found aren’t helpful, I either don’t download them or I put them in different folders, further down on the app list so it takes more time to get to them.
Designated Time vs. Time Limit. Decide how you want to spend time on your device and how you want your children to spend time on their devices. This can be different for each family and do what works for your lifestyle. Some parents allow devices only during designated times (e.g. after school) and do not have a time limit. Other parents allow their children to have their devices with them all the time but set time limits such as no more than 3 hours per day. On holidays, weekends, and days off from school, those limits might be adjusted. There is no right or wrong here. Do what works best for your child and their schedule. If you notice that their mood worsens after using their device, think about setting a time limit. Personally, I do a little bit of both. Depending on the day, I might have a set hourly limit or I have my phone completely shut off during certain times.
Parental Controls. You are still the parent and should be aware of what your child (even your teen) is doing on their phone. Discuss what your expectations are of using the phone and how phone usage will be monitored. Many teens look at this as an invasion of privacy, which I can understand. Validate their feelings and speak to them about the importance of keeping them safe. The rule of thumb I usually talk about is if what you are saying or doing is something you wouldn’t do in front of your boss, principal, parents, or grandparents, you probably shouldn’t be posting about it. Talk to your children about following and friending them on social media accounts. That way you can see what they are posting and who they are interacting with.
No devices in the bedroom or bathroom. Aside from using devices as an alarm clock, there really is no reason for them to be in the bedroom. I also cannot think of any reason why the device would go in the bathroom as well. Establish a rule that devices are not to be used in the bedroom. If your child frequently hangs out in their room, talk to them about having the door open if the phone is in there with them. The last time I checked, they still make alarm clocks that are not attached to devices or phones. If you or your teen absolutely needs to the phone in the room for an alarm, find a spot away from the bed to set the phone for the night. This may also help with getting up in the morning as you now need to physically get out of bed to shut the alarm off. In order to assist with appropriate sleep hygiene, try avoiding screens 1-2 hours prior to bedtime.
Model what you are saying. If the rule is no devices at the dinner table, don’t bring devices to the dinner table. If you ask your children to set aside their phones while watching a family movie, do the same. Practice what you are preaching and model appropriate device usage. The more you model what you are encouraging, the more likely your child is to follow through with what you are asking.
Devices and technology do not need to be the enemy and we do not need to let them control us. It’s never too late to slow down and assess your and your family’s habits when it comes to screen time and make adjustments.
An article based on this topic was also written by myself and featured in NJPA’s E-Newsletter in December 2020. Feel free to check it out here.