Not “Just Another Pride Month Blog”
Pride month is a time for communities worldwide to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community! For us, this isn’t just something we’re checking a box off to keep the status quo. Even though Pride is something we’re passionate about acknowledging year-round, we can’t pass up the opportunity to speak about a topic so important to us as a practice. One of the crucial aspects of celebrating Pride is ensuring effectiveness as allies.
Today, let’s talk a little bit about the reasons why allyship is important and how to do it well! Allyship is essential because it acknowledges and actively addresses the systemic inequalities and injustices faced by marginalized communities.
Let’s get on the same page real quick. A breakdown of Pride Month:
Its origins go back to the Stonewall Uprising, which took place in Manhattan in 1969. A police raid occurred at an LGBTQ+ friendly bar in Greenwich Village, Manhattan (which wasn’t an uncommon occurrence at the time). But one day, the people at the bar as well as the bystanders and neighbors in the area responded with outrage to resist the injustice. Several consecutive nights of protests followed.
LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning, intersex, asexual, and other variations or terms that fall under different umbrellas
“Allyship” refers to active support for the rights of a minority/marginalized group without being a member of it
One misconception is that because the United States, in particular, seems to be more accepting of LGBTQ+ individuals, advocacy and allyship aren’t as important. This is simply not true and we want to help break down that myth today.
If you notice in the definition of allyship above, the word “active” is included. Allyship is not passive. It’s intentional awareness and action toward the goal of supporting effectively.
Allyship is important in creating an environment that is welcoming and inclusive. When the pressure of that is only on the LGBTQ+ community, this feels incredibly isolating and difficult. We as allies can relieve some of that pressure by being welcoming and educating ourselves to help dissolve ignorance around issues directly impacting the lives of this community.
What else can I do as an ally?
Educate yourself! Remember, being an ally is active, not passive, so we don’t want to just rely on our LGBTQ+ friends/family members to educate us.
First, let’s start with the basics. LGBTQ+ stands for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer and more.” This can vary based on culture.
Sexual orientation vs. gender identity. Sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to and want to have a relationship with. Gender identity is about who you are.
Queer is a term people may use to refer to themselves if their sexual orientation and/or gender identity is considered “outside of the mainstream.”
*Labels are not mutually exclusive!* Individuals can hold multiple identities and may face compounded forms of discrimination.
Follow credible online sources to continuously educate yourself on LGBTQ+ issues. Another great idea is to follow activists and influencers on social media who are in the LGBTQ+ community.
Don’t make assumptions about someone’s orientation, sexuality, feelings, experiences, and/or goals.
Everyone has their own experience, journey, and goals. It’s impossible to characterize any individual in the category of LGBTQ+ people. All we know for sure is what we are told by an individual. It’s so much better to hear their story from them instead of creating one on their behalf!
Listen and learn without judgment or defensiveness.
Through education and dialogue, allies deepen their understanding of the experiences and struggles faced by marginalized communities. This leads to increased empathy and compassion.
Know what to do next if/when someone comes out to you (or not).
“Coming out” is commonly understood to mean disclosing a non-straight sexuality/non-cisgender gender identity to someone else. It’s extremely important not to pressure anyone to come out. If someone chooses not to come out to you and you hear about it secondhand (with the original person’s permission), don’t take it personally. This is not about you and there are so many factors when deciding who to come out to. If someone does choose to come out to you, thank them for inviting you into this part of their identity. Use language that indicates your support and respect for them.
Speak up if you hear someone say an anti-LGBTQ+ joke or comment.
Explain why this is harmful and offensive.
Challenge these comments and behaviors whether it’s in social situations, the workplace, or online. Being silent perpetuates these harmful behaviors and attitudes.
By speaking out against forms of discrimination, allies help dismantle harmful attitudes and practices that harm marginalized communities.
Read a regular LGBTQ+ publication.
This supports diverse publishers and also spreads content especially when you tell others about what you’ve read!
Be open to growth and feedback.
Similar to educating yourself, this is an important point because it keeps you aware that you may make mistakes along the way as an ally. Acknowledge your privilege and use it to spread awareness of marginalized voices.
Attend pride celebrations and any other LGBTQ+ events in your community!
Take the time to find out when and where they are happening. Invite other allies or people who desire to be a more involved ally.
Respect boundaries.
Learn about and respect the boundaries of your loved ones who are LGBTQ+. Some people want to share their stories, while others may not. Some topics, such as plans for surgery or one’s deadname, should not be raised without the individual first initiating that conversation. Show that you are open to hearing their story, but do not ask or pressure them about these particular topics.
Publicly support the community!
Especially when you know LGBTQ+ individuals personally, be their advocates. Particularly when they’re not around, aka when it’s most needed, advocate for them to be heard, be in leadership, be in organizations, etc.
By listening to and uplifting the voices of the LGBTQ+ community, allies help bring attention to issues that are often overlooked or dismissed.
Advocate for change!
Whether it’s advocating for policy reforms, supporting grassroots movements, or participating in community initiatives, allies contribute to building a more equitable and just society for all. Again, allyship is not passive :)
Let’s carry the spirit of allyship beyond this month. Commit alongside us to being steadfast allies who not only celebrate the LGBTQ+ community but actively work to build more inclusive communities. True allyship goes beyond performative gestures in favor of meaningful action. It’s not about token displays of support or virtue signaling but about tangible efforts to dismantle oppressive structures and foster inclusivity. It involves leveraging one’s privilege to amplify marginalized voices, advocating for policy reforms, and creating inclusive spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
Being an active ally for the LGBTQ+ community is not a one-time commitment but an ongoing effort to create a more inclusive and equitable world for all. By educating yourself, listening, speaking up, and taking meaningful action, you can make a difference in the lives of LGBTQ+ individuals and contribute to a more just society. Let’s stand together in solidarity and support, today and every day.
We wish you all a safe, happy, and free Pride month!
Author: Kristen Hearn, MA, Prelicensed Therapist