Let’s face it, therapy can be scary. Before you even set foot in the room, you have to make that call. Actually, even before making that call, you need to find someone you think might be a good fit. Unlike other providers for services, therapy is a little more intimate. The relationship between therapist and patient is a unique one, unlike any other relationship you may ever have. You want to make sure that the person you are sitting across from each week is someone you fit with.
I often talk about “the right fit” with prospective patients, and even current patients! Therapists are like shoes… at least that’s how I put it. When you are in the store or shopping online for shoes, if you absolutely don’t love the way they look and/or feel, you most likely aren’t going to change your mind when you bring the shoes home. So, much like shoes, the right fit counts when it comes to selecting a therapist. Even if you find a therapist you think is a good fit and they don’t turn out to be a good fit, KEEP LOOKING! An ethical therapist is not going to take it personally that you would like a referral to another provider. Our job is to help… even if that means helping you find a more suitable match.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself and any prospective therapist you are thinking of seeing for services:
Do I have a preference for how the therapist identifies? Would I prefer someone who identifies as male, female, trans, non-conforming, or other?
Does the provider’s religious affiliation matter to me?
Do I have an age preference? Would I prefer someone younger than me, older than me, or around the same age?
Does the provider’s political affiliation matter to me?
Does the cultural background of my therapist matter to me?
Would I prefer to see someone within my insurance network or out of network and private pay?
Do I want online/remote therapy sessions, in-person, or a hybrid option?
Are there certain topics or areas that are important to me that I want my therapist to be trained in? For example, kink-friendly, LGBTQIA+ affirming/ally.
Do the credentials of my therapist matter (e.g. LPC, LCSW, PsyD, PhD)?
Before you reach out to any provider, make sure you can answer the above questions. There may also be a few additional questions not on that list that are important to you. Make sure you jot them down and ask them. Most of the above questions you will be able to have answered by a quick phone call or search on the provider’s website. However, some questions the provider might not feel comfortable answering and you need to be prepared for that. For example, during the election year, I had many prospective patients calling to ask what my political party was. This is not something I bring into the therapy room with my patients, nor something I feel comfortable sharing. Whatever political party my patients are a part of, that is what we discuss (if needed) and my beliefs are taken out of it.
Regardless of the questions you have for your potential provider, you have a right to ask them. Being an informed patient will help with whatever treatment you are looking for. If the provider isn’t fitting into what you were looking for or isn’t comfortable answering the questions you are asking and their answers don’t sit well with you, move on! There are plenty of providers out there and there will be one that fits!