Has anyone ever told you that you’re, “too sensitive?” Many people in our society look at someone being sensitive or too sensitive as a bad thing. Yes, difficulties with emotional regulation is the topic of many of my sessions and an area of concern for many mental health diagnoses.
However, someone being highly sensitive isn’t always a bad thing. Most of you know me and my absolutes (e.g. always, never). I strongly dislike them. Being sensitive isn’t always a bad or negative thing. In recent years, there has been more research being done on individuals who display characteristics of what we now call a “highly sensitive person” or HSP. Although this trait is popping up more and more on the internet, it’s not a new phenomenon. It’s a normal and innate trait that people possess. HSPs can become easily overwhelmed and be more aware of their environment and emotions.
In true CBT fashion, I am frequently looking for positive ways to reframe things. Many individuals come into my office displaying characteristics that would put them in the category of HSPs or parents come in needing assistance raising a highly sensitive child (HSC). Although it can be challenging to have highly sensitive characteristics or to be raising a child who does, I wanted to share with you a reframe I found several weeks ago about HSPs. I take no credit for this reframe and would love to know the original source of it. If anyone knows where it originated, please drop me a message so I can give proper credit.
The reframe is this: Instead of looking at your (or your child’s) highly sensitive traits as a negative, look at it as a positive and relabel yourself (or your child) as a canary. Canaries are very common household pets that sing beautifully. Singing is literally what they do. When working in the coal mines, workers will sometimes bring canaries into the mines with them. Granted, we have the technology now that can assist with what canaries did in the mines, which you will see in a minute. However, stick with me for the reframe. You see, canaries are highly sensitive animals and they can detect toxic fumes, specifically carbon monoxide, in the coal mines when humans cannot. Workers would whistle to the canaries hoping to hear them sing back to them, or keep an eye on if the canaries fell ill. If the canaries didn’t sing back or became ill, the workers knew there were toxic fumes in the mines. As long as the workers heard the canaries singing, they knew they were safe. The highly sensitive person is like that of a canary. They may pick up on subtleties in the environment before others and their behavior(s) might indicate changes others aren’t aware of. This can be true in the family dynamic or even in the work environment. The HSP might be able to alert others of a change in the environment before everyone else around them.
So, the next time someone calls you (or your child) too sensitive, try to find the reframe in that the sensitivity might not be a bad thing.