Halloween can be such a fun and exciting time for many individuals. Most kids get excited to dress up as their favorite character and load their bellies with lots of candy. However, what happens when Halloween isn’t a fun time for your child? What happens if they get nervous about the costumes? What happens if they can’t eat most candy because of allergies? What happens when almost everyone at school has paired off for festivities and your child is now excluded?
Let’s break some of this down…
What happens if my child doesn’t like Halloween?
Okay, so they don’t like Halloween. It really isn’t the end of the world. Find ways that they can get into the spirit if they want. If not, let them do their thing! Encourage fall activities instead of Halloween-specific or ask them what they would like to do and see if it’s possible!
What happens if my child is afraid of Halloween and the costumes?
This usually happens with the younger kids. Talk to your child about the difference between real and fake. Find non-scary Halloween decorations for the house like pumpkins, leaves, and friendly-looking decorations. Your child also doesn’t need to dress up as anything scary. Find a non-scary costume they would be comfortable in or forgo a costume altogether. Instead of going to haunted hayrides or out trick-or-treating/trunk-or-treating do fall activities instead (e.g. pumpkin picking and carving, apple picking, non-haunted hayrides, corn mazes, etc.). Most children will grow out of this phase as they get older.
What should I do if my child can’t eat most of the candy?
In recent years, there has been an increase in support for children who might have allergies. Individuals have put signs on their houses that they supply nut-free candy or non-food choices. If your child has an allergy to most candies, get creative! Be the house that doesn’t hand out candy, but hands out cool fidget items or something else. If your child’s school or teacher is doing something, ask about how you can pitch in. Years back when I was working in a school, there were several children with food allergies. I worked with the parents of these children to bring in safe candy for them and the child would come up to me discreetly and “trade” the candy they couldn’t eat with a goodie their parents brought in. It was so cute because the kids had no idea what goodies their parents brought in until they traded with me. I would only recommend this for your child if they are aware of what they can and cannot eat. For children who might test the limits, do not expose them to the candy they can’t have. While working in the school, I also collaborated with the parents to create a “candy friendly” list that included all things that everyone in the classroom could have. The teacher encouraged parents to stick to that list so no one felt left out. We also suggested not doing candy as so much of it gets wasted and instead get fun erasers or goodie bag items to hand out.
What happens if most kids are already paired off or are already in groups for Halloween festivities and my child is left out?
No one wants to feel or actually be left out. See if you can coordinate family and friends to get together and participate in Halloween activities. If not, create a family tradition and do something fun. If your child’s school or local community is putting on something for the holiday, go as a family and see if your child meets up with anyone. It can be tough trying to get your child to socialize and be included. However, as some of my previous posts have pointed out, don’t be a helicopter or lawn mower parent. Encourage and practice social skills, but don’t do things for your child, especially when it comes to peers.
Halloween comes once a year and doesn’t have to be something that causes that much stress and anxiety. Speak to your child and listen to their concerns. Validate what they are saying and help them problem solve how to make this time of year a little more positive and less stressful for them!