Can you believe it’s the second week of November already? Where is this month going? While most people are still adjusting to the clock change and fall temperatures, some of us are already looking ahead to the holiday season. What is the holiday season going to look like this year? Will we finally be able to have a “normal” gathering for the holidays that doesn’t include video calls? Regardless of what the holiday season may look like for you this year, we are going into a season to show kindness, gratitude, and caring. No, we don’t need a specific season to display these traits. However, if you have been finding a decrease in your use of these things, there is no better time to start!
Here are my top 5 ways I encourage my patients to show gratitude:
Create a gratitude journal. Yes, this is exactly what it sounds like. Grab an empty notebook or open up a blank note on your phone. Take 5-10 minutes out of your day to write down 3 things you are grateful for. Many individuals decide to do this at the end of the evening before bed, and some like to do it right as they wake up in the morning to start their day. The time of day doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are doing it. Finding 3 things you are grateful for might be difficult in the beginning, and that’s okay. Keep practicing! I love gratitude journals as they can be unique to each individual and used across age categories.
Have a family discussion. I usually encourage this one to be completed at the dinner table or at the end of the night before bed. Go around the table or talk at bedtime about something positive that happened that day. A colleague of mine had an awesome post a few weeks back about the rose, thorn, bud check-in.
Rose: what is something you are grateful for or something positive happening in your life right now?
Thorn: what is something you are struggling with or something stressful and challenging right now?
Bud: what is something you are looking forward to?
To add to this, you could even have a photo of a rose to facilitate the conversation. If we model appropriate behaviors towards our children, they are more likely to follow our lead. The rose check-in is another activity that can be completed across the lifespan and in every household.Kindness missions. I found these cool cards within an Open the Joy box. If you haven’t heard of these boxes, I encourage you to check them out. The company has a website where you can purchase them and I have also seen them at Target. *I do not receive any compensation for making this recommendation and I have no affiliation with either company. These cards have different kindness missions on them and are something I use in sessions with my littles to encourage kindness. When my littles complete a kindness task, they get an official-looking mission card to collect. It’s a fun way to get them excited about prosocial behaviors, and a way for them to track their progress. As adults, we might not be motivated to collect little kindness mission cards, but we can keep track with pieces of paper. Grab a fun jar or box and each time you show kindness, caring, or gratitude, write it down and place it in the jar or box. If you are having a difficult day, take out some of the papers to read. Better yet… read them at the end of each week, month, or year!
Celebrate the little things. Even though something may seem small, you can still celebrate it with gratitude. Practice saying, “thank you,” even for the smallest things. This is another simple act that we can model for anyone, while also allowing ourselves to show gratitude for the things others do for us.
Actively listen to others. You can show support for someone by actively listening to what they are saying. You don’t have to agree with them or have gone through something similar. However, by maintaining eye contact, lending a listening ear, and encouraging the person to share what they need/want to, you are showing support. Really listen to what someone has to say. Listen to understand and not just respond.
As with any change you make, start off small and be realistic about your goals. It’s great if you want to show more gratitude. However, allow your body and brain to get used to this new chain. The more you practice it, the easier it will come to you.
If you are looking for something for the littles to do, we are hosting a Thankful & Grateful workshop on November 17 for littles aged 8-12.
In the season of giving and showing gratitude, I am grateful for everyone who reads my blogs and takes the time out of their days to review my social media posts. I am also grateful for the love and support I receive from my family and for my former and current patients for trusting me with their mental health needs.
Warm wishes as we go into the holiday season and here’s to hoping we can show gratitude year-round!